Motherhood’s been a priority the past few weeks which is why it took me a while to blog the second part of what we’ve learned at the Marriage Boosters seminar we attended last February 21. My apologies.
Anyway, as I’ve disclaimed in my previous post — I do my best to stick to my notes, but will have included my personal insights and learnings from the seminar.
God’s Pattern in Marriage (Experience – Purpose – Provision)
In the second part of the seminar, Pastor Joel and his wife, Jenny Magpantay, mainly discussed God’s pattern in marriage.
As I’ve mentioned in the first part of this series, our marriages do not define us nor our purposes in life. Only God can define us. Without God, it is hard to find our purpose.
God’s original design for marriage is to provide for you and protect you.
When God presented Eve to Adam, he accepted her without question. Why? Because Adam knew God and trusted him.
We only trust people whom we know very well, don’t we? It’s the same thing with Adam. He trusted God because he knew God and have experienced his faithfulness. He had spent time with God and knew him enough to trust that his choice of help mate was perfect for him.
This is the first part of the pattern that God has for marriage – Experiencing him!
Without a relationship with him, we will easily be shaken. When we know God and have experienced him, we will trust him with our marriages whatever happens along the way.
When we look at the life of Adam, we will see that it was God who gave him his purpose. Remember when God told him to give the animals their names? He also made Adam take care of the garden of Eden.
It was God who gave him his purpose!
Have you ever wondered why God gave Adam a help mate in Eve? He had someone to help him because HE HAD A PURPOSE to fulfill.
Which leads to the reason why God created Eve. God created Eve because man had a purpose and Eve was there to help him so they can fulfill God’s purpose together.
“So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man” Genesis 2: 21-22.
God, himself, presented Eve to Adam. She is NOT just some afterthought.
Eve, then, is a provision from God! She is a gift! A blessing!
“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD” Proverbs 18:22.
The wife is a blessing to the husband just as the he is a blessing to her.
To experience God first, to find out our purpose in life, and to receive God’s provision — that is God’s original pattern for marriage.
Rejecting our spouses
Pastor Joel said that one of the most common conflict between husbands and wives is rejection because we demand our spouses to conform to our standards. And when they can’t, we reject them.
Fact is that our spouses will fail us because we are two different people with different types of upbringing and different sets of principles and experiences. Conflict is inevitable.
It is how we respond to these conflicts that we must seriously consider.
Pastor Joel and Jenny reminded us that when we reject our spouses for being unable to live up to our standards, we reject the Giver as well.
Final notes on marriage
Here are a few more notes given by Pastor Joel and Jenny:
- In marriage, there should be no pressure to live to someone’s standards, but God’s.
- Not all people are meant to marry. God gave you a spouse because you have a purpose that includes having one.
- Without God, it is hard to find your purpose.
- You’ll never get to the place of trusting God until you know him.
- Communication is the lifeblood of any relationship.
- It is when your marriage is in full bloom that you put hedges around it to protect it. Protect your spouse, protect yourself, chase away the foxes that will ruin the vineyard!
- Cleave with your spouses. In the Biblical times, soldiers take a leave from work to be with their wives. If you’re a soldier, consider this.
- Couples that are separated by distances must know this can only be for a season. You need to be with your spouse in order to grow your marriage. Work on making your garden healthy!
And lastly, a perfect marriage is not about finding the right person, but becoming the right person.
Are you familiar with Stormie O’Martian’s bestselling book, The Power of a Praying Wife? The first part of that book talks about praying that you would change. Uhuh, you — the wife. (I think it’s the same thing for “The Power of the Praying Husband.”)
It is not our job to change our husbands, but it is our responsibility to grow in God’s Word so that we can become the wives God intended us to be.
A lot of wives ask me — what if their husbands are not Bible-believers, and I refer them to this verse– “For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. 1 Corinthians” 7:13.
I agree, it takes two to tango, but marriage isn’t just a covenant between two people, but three! And God is the third (Ecclesiastes 4:12) and he must be center.
You won’t be alone in fighting for your marriage. God is fighting your battle with you if you put your faith in Him and not in your own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
Prayer is the weapon we have been given to fight for our marriages, and it’s a very powerful one, so let’s use it. God already said in His Word that one believing spouse can sanctify the husband, all we need to do is to trust what He says.
Yes, we can say to our spouses “I still do” because we believe that “he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion” Philippians 1:6.
Join our Bible Study group for Wives!
I currently facilitate a small Bible study group on The Heart of Marriage with wives who would like to grow in their relationships with their husbands, and who would like to understand God’s design for marriage.
It’s not a major event, we will just meet over coffee at 1 PM, Mrs. Field’s, Treston building, Bonifacio Global City(Across Market! Market!, a little on the right with your back on the mall). It will run for only an hour or so.
There are no fees involved, but I would appreciate it if you could buy yourself a cup of coffee or a cookie from the counter to bless the venue where we will meet at.
6 weeks only. Of course it’s best if you can come every Sunday for all six weeks, but I understand if you can only go on certain meetings.
See you then!