We don’t need little geniuses

For the past few weeks, my husband, Jay, and I would bring the children to play at our new favorite spot in BGC.

There, Jay would teach the two older kids to bat and catch ball, while I look over our youngest who seems to enjoy gathering sticks and building structures using rocks and dust more.
picnic-play

On other days, we let them just chase each other in a game of tag or roll down the hilly mounds while we sit by the picnic tables munching on the sandwiches or chips that we bring along with us.

At times, one of them would run over to where we are to pop a chip into his little mouth, say something to us at the spur of the moment, before running off again to join his brothers, until we call them so we can head to McDonald’s across the street to get some sundaes to cap our day.

baseball-family

As I watched my children obviously enjoying their play time, it hit me how undemanding they truly are. They don’t look for their gadgets, they don’t ask for expensive toys.

They simply love playing games with their dad and living each moment with us.

Which is so opposite to how we, as their parents, can be of our children.

rocks-play

We tend to expect too much from them. We expect them to show us perfect test scores, memorize the multiplication tables in a snap, stand out in their school plays, make it to the varsity team, or be commended for good character by everyone we introduce them to.

Even home schooling families like ours can fall into this trap. As home schoolers, we have more opportunities to involve our kids in many activities- such as workshops, professional work and sports events. And we stand in the sidelines silently hoping they will stand out and show everyone what a real home schooler is made of.

Admit it, you’ve been there, hah!

playing-kids

But at the park, as we play and laugh, and talk, there’s none of that.

We don’t talk about their grades or whether or not they have completed their work sheets. These fade in the background as we laugh at their silly jokes, listen to them get big on their imagination, sing songs with them or swap stories with them.

baseball-lesson

When we play with them, we’re not thinking about how it will help enhance their learning skills and make them into little geniuses. (although there is truth to it!)

In fact, in these seemingly mundane moments, we realize we don’t need little geniuses!

All we want, really, is to let these these little humans know that they don’t have to be geniuses for us to love them. We love them for everything that they are and everything that they will become.

Regardless of.

Inspite of.

Inclusive of.

 

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32 Comments

  1. Aaahj I wanna cry. This is so lovely May! Tugs the heart! Such a great reminder! I tend to have double standards at home. You know our case. I need to cut my other kid some slack. <3

  2. Yes, we don’t need little geniuses. That’s why I don’t like having assignments during Friday or exams on Monday because weekend is our family day. Pahinga namin sa school works and family bonding naman. 🙂

  3. I agree they don’t need expensive toys. Sometimes, Nate is happy with a cardboard sword or some stones too! haha. About spending time with kids, this is something that Dane and I were discussing last night. We’re praying na di na sya babalik abroad. Kasi Nate is getting older, kaya we want to spend more and more time together before he goes to school.

  4. We frequent this park too. It’s weird how we never seem to run into you guys when we’re there! Haha. We should plan to meet there some time na lang. 🙂 Ziggy would love to play with your boys. 🙂

  5. Yes, high five May! Ako, I really don’t care about grades and all. I just let my daughter do whatever she wants. And yes to parks where kids can let their creativity run wild 🙂

  6. Oh, I love family time! 🙂 I totally agree that kids don’t need to be geniuses for us to love them. For me, I just want my son to have the best childhood he can ever imagine, and the rest will follow. 😉

  7. Aww what a heartwarming post! 🙂 I totally agree! Most moms are pressured to teach their kids “new tricks” everyday and rush every milestone – in effect pressuring the kids too. We just need to let them be children and savour each moment cause they grow up TOO FAST. Thanks for another reminder. Happy weekend! 🙂

  8. You know, MrC and I have to keep ourselves in check sometimes when we talk to Little MrC about his grades. We make sure to remind him that doing his best matters more than getting high scores. It can be hard finding a balance, lalo na he’s in a traditional school. But I guess it’s our job as his parents to try our best to do that.

  9. Yes children are undemanding when it comes to stuff.They just demand our full attention so we can enjoy our time with them.They also want to know that we see them, as Oprah once said.I try to remember that everyday.Love the new McDonald’s commercial too!

  10. Oh, I love this. 🙂 Going to the park is also our family activity. My little one enjoys picking up sticks and leaves. Park visits are actually something we look forward to in homeschooling even though we’ve been doing it for quite some time now. Well, you know, we’ll be moving on to colors and counting the leaves and sticks by then. 🙂 One of the reasons why we will, in a few years, homeschool our child, is that we don’t want to demand from him nor do we want others to do so. We want him to learn at his own pace and we want to celebrate his victories no matter how slow or fast he got there.

  11. Oh namiss ko ang homeschooling. The part where we can go to any place we want (and use it to learn something) is what I like the most. If only my son has a sibling/cousins nearby to play and socialize with I will consider homeschooling again. Socialization is one of his challenge that’s why his therapist encourages us to go to school.

    1. Oh there are plenty of co-ops and homeschooling support groups now, mommy Levy! Our kids have their Music, Arts. PE, and computer classes with other homeschoolers, aside from involving our kids in many different workshops and in our church, they have a bible study group that meet regularly for their age. So if you want to go back to homeschooling pwede na. 😉

  12. My kids are not really into gadgets, although we allow them to use it naman. We have moments din na all we want to do as a family is to stay at home, watch movies and eat homecooked meals. What’s important is the time we share and the feeling of having a family 🙂

  13. I love times at the park too, pure fun, no expectations. Kids sometimes just need our attention more than anything else. It helps them fare better and feel more confident too.

  14. I love bringing my kids to the park and the playground and encourage them to be themselves and play. Sometimes when we can’t go out, we just do it at home, laugh and be silly and all play all the imaginary games they can think of.

  15. Let the children play, let them be kids – carefree, worry-free, playful. Sabi nga dun sa isang commercial, “minsan lang sila bata.”And we parents, we should support them, encourage them with whatever they wanted to do, as long as it’s beneficial for them and for the whole famil.

  16. I’ve never really required my kids to get into the honor roll in school. I just tell them to have good grades, if they want to go for honors it’s up to them. From what I’ve seen academic achievements don’t necessarily guarantee success in the real world.

  17. Oh, this is such a lovely post. I totally agree with you. Even if Bunny is still a toddler, I have to admit that I do have certain expectations from her. It is my hubby who reminds me that we shouldn’t be rushing her and that she is perfectly fine. I guess, we are living in a society wherein comparing is the norm, hence the pressure we sometimes put to our kids.

  18. Many parents expect too much from their children for “bragging rights.” I don’t want to pressure them in school, but will constantly remind them to do their best and strive harder 🙂

  19. I don’t pressure our son to excel in everything I just reminding him to do his best but not to the extent that he will sacrifice his time for being a kid. I always keep reminding my hubby na minsan lang sila maging bata that is why we have to nurture him with full of love and affection and spend quality time. My son is so happy every time we have playtime, sana lang may malapit din park sa amin 🙂

  20. Is this area near Forbestown? Nice place. As for kids, I think parents shouldn’t really “tell” their children what to do because it can sometimes make the child feel pressured to do what their parents want for them instead of exploring things and life on their own.

  21. I grew up trying to be the best for my parents – even if they don’t tell me to do so. I guess it’s a kid’s intuition to do good, as payback to what parents are doing for them. But yes, never do pressure kids on wherever, it might do harm rather than good.

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